Cooking is a real pleasure of mine, especially Greek and Cypriot dishes! Greek food reminds me of my heritage and my proud history, so when I engage with the recipes, my soul wakes up and my passion clears away a dull day every time.

Being Dometria, I tend to be very domineering in the kitchen! And don’t like others getting in my way and spoiling the sauce. I have a Gordon Ramsay streak, so watch out if you under-season the chicken.

Cooking is actually quite aggressive and controlling and sometimes, yes, there is an element of force-feeding going on.NIGELLA LAWSON

Being a domestic goddess in latex is ideal for me! It’s a messy business, so when you get mayonnaise or any other sauce all over your front, it’s easy to wipe off.

Domestic Latex!

Would Nigella wear a latex outfit? Umm, I’d like to think so. I’d like to get her slaving over the sink in my kitchen. I’d certainly show her a trick or two to do with a rolling pin and a cucumber.

Culinary Persuasion

Remember folks, always clean up after you have had a good session in the kitchen. No one likes to wash-up after some messy sod has been burning pots and pans. My best persuasion method to culinary management is to always set a good example. You leave it messy, you get battered. It works really well.

Fanny Cradock

Do you remember or have you ever heard of Fanny Cradock? (Still alive at 87). Her and her husband Johnnie used to do a cooking show on TV. This was in my childhood and was a massive hit before satellite and cable TV channels. She was pretty hardcore and an early example of a domestic Dominatrix. What an inspiration? Why aren’t there any cooking shows with hosts like her on anymore?

Fanny Cradock Dometria
Fanny Cradock

We’ve ended up with the lame-Dame Delia Smith and a load of limp metro-sexual male presenters who really have found their soft centres, yeah, Jamie Oliver springs to mind? Nothing more irritating than a Mockney who has fallen in love with himself.

Bring back Fanny I say”. She made a better Spotted Dick than anybody.